I was once a confident, happy person who had a healthy social life, a good job and a loving girlfriend. One sunny day, I was walking through a park with my girlfriend when I was jumped by gang of drunk youths demanding money from me. I told them repeatedly I didn’t have any money but one of them kicked me to the ground whilst the others started to kick and punch me. The attack seemed to last a lifetime, all I heard was my girlfriend screaming for them to stop. Eventually, they were chased away by a park ranger who called for an ambulance. 

Since that day I have been scarred both mentally and physically to the point I wouldn’t leave my house, my friends called on me all the time but I just turned them away. My girlfriend couldn’t cope anymore and we split, I was a mess. I relied on my family to do everything for me. I lost my job as I wouldn’t leave the house.

I began to get worse and started to have panic and anxiety attacks to the point that the slightest bang or noise could set me off, my chest would get tight, my breathing would be sharp and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest it was beating so hard. 

Months past and I knew I had to do something to cure these attacks, I kept telling myself no one could live life like this. I made an appointment to see my physician. He prescribed me Propranolol also known as beta blockers, used to lower the effects of anxiety. I started taking them and found I was becoming dependent on them, I took them without having to think about it and I often thought about stopping altogether but was apprehensive, so I didn’t.

After two years of taking Propranolol I was sill in the same position as I was before. I started to look to the internet for other ways to cure anxiety attacks, I found an online forum for people who suffered panic and anxiety attacks just like me. I remember thinking to myself WOW! Other people who are going through similar experiences to me. I made a few friends and found other ways of overcoming these attacks. Other cures, my Propranolol only helped when I was having an attack, but it is not a long term solution, you’ll probably find its the same with all prescribed drugs. I weened my way off the Propranolol and tried rescue remedy as recommended by another forum member. Again this is another short term solution that helps to soothe the symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks but at least it was natural. 

I set my own little personal goals like going out by myself and going to the store to buy milk, I did this everyday and kept to it. If you face your fear you’ll start to tell yourself there’s no real danger, it’s all in your head but if you leave it and don’t face your fear you’ll only get worse and you’ll never be able to live your life. 

I depended on a friend who stuck by me throughout my ordeal, he went places with me I was unsure of and encouraged me to take the next step. We went out regularly to the bar and went to the movies, it was good to have someone who I could trust.

When I felt I was getting anxious I started to do breathing exercises and kept telling myself it was all in my head, I would force myself to see these situations through, i.e standing in line at the bank or going to get my hair cut, I knew running away wasn’t the answer. It started to get easier but all it would take was a loud noise or something unexpected to happen for it all to start again. It was horrible. 

I then came across a post on the forum that suggested another method of curing anxiety attacks using self hypnosis. I read up on it and found out that I could change the way I perceive anxious situations, turning scary situations into well, not so scary situations. Changing my negative thoughts into positive ones. I know that anxiety is all in the head and reading the forum I found that others have been able to cure anxiety attacks using self hypnosis, so I sent off for the audio program. 

I received the cd and started to listen to it almost everyday. I got so used to hearing the cd I could just get on with whatever I was doing whilst not really concentrating, as it works on your sub conscious mind you are still taking in what’s on the cd without realizing it. Anyway, I started to feel the difference within a few weeks. Months had passed and I was still listening to the cd, it was part of my daily routine. I’m now finding I’m going out more, I’m not as worried about possible anxious situations, the what ifs I might face and not worried about large groups of people. Maybe its all in the mind, but I do feel a noticeable difference. I have a new job, I’m socializing again and I’ve been on my first vacation in years. 

I still have anxious moments, but they are not half as bad as they were before. I still carry around Rescue Remedy and I continue my breathing exercises without thinking but because I know that its all in my mind I keep telling myself I will get through this, possibly without anyone even noticing. I can just get on with it and enjoy my life.